An overworked phrase I use at work, when talking about behaviour management, is this:
‘If you come down on everything, you lose on everything.’
In pharmacology, it’s called tachyphylaxis. If you keep popping temazepam every night, your body soon stops responding. The same sized drug dose has a decreasing effect.
It’s the same with parenting. If you raise your voice increasingly, it all starts to sound like the same noise. After this, to your kid, being told off for punching his sister is akin to being told off for not standing up straight. He’s being told off for so much stuff, how can he differentiate? And if he’s being told off so much, what does it matter?
I might just hit her again. Wow, can you see how much power I have? How much can I make the big angry adult roar?
No. Stop. Don’t! Put that down. Not that one! Are you listening?
Am I listening? To which command, Dad?
I know, we all do it.
Adding in positive reinforcement ain’t easy. But here’s a simple strategy for flipping things around, and the testimony to go with it.
Check out the article:
Positive parenting is easy to say, and it sounds wonderful. Doesn’t it?
But reality is reality. You need real strategies for every day life, to help see the good in your kids, not just the bad. Simple strategies.
Like this one.